I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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