why didn't you poke me back
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
