i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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