For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
