I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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