But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Randomize
