I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
