yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
