So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
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