Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
