I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
