So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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