I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize