found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize