so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
