I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
you inspire me to be a worse person
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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