Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
