ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
