just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
