I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
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