what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
