Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
