And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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