You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I just gargled with NyQuil
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
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