I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I just sucked dick on a ferry
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
