my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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