Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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