My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
This is my gift to your gina
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
