Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
