I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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