I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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