Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
