so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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