Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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