He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
