Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
