Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
