my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize