we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
