Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
