remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
