she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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