I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
