i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
You're like the curious george of whores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize