im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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