his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize
