Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize