He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
