I don't usually arrange sex via text message
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
