Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bang-toberfest begins!!
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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