How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
