he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
