I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
