I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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