We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize
