I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
