Me too!
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
