Soap is not a condiment
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
