how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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