Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
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Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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