is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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