im gay
i know
yea but for you.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
