This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
