i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
