the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
